The Need for Change

I accepted this diagnosis. But I was stuck. Such a roller coaster of thoughts and emotions: fear--sadness- anger- anxiety--irritability. I needed to set realistic expectations of the medical path ahead of me. So many questions:

• How bad was the chemo going to be?

• What side effects could I expect?

• Did I have the stamina to be able to get through eight cycles of chemo?

  
  

So many unknowns. I started to take small but important steps to manage my situation. One of the first things I did was to journal daily. I did this even before my first chemo cycle. As I look back at my journal, I first became aware of others' reactions when I told them I had Pancreatic Cancer. The look in their eyes. Their very unhelpful comments about knowing someone they knew who passed from the disease.

In my daily journaling I noted how much I walked-- I was told that this was a crucial component to getting through the treatments and getting through the Whipple. I wrote about my feelings and thoughts. I wrote about things I found that helped. For instance, I wore an pump that slowly infused 5 FU - the constant drip, drip, drip of the pump made me crazy. I found that wearing noise-cancelling headphones, particularly at night, was very helpful.

I wrote down questions I wanted to ask my oncologist-- Should I get a COVID booster? What should I do about the chafing around my port? This information was particularly helpful for my oncologist as he always wanted to know specifics, both physical and psychological, at the onset of each cycle of chemo..

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Individual experiences may vary; personal health decisions should be made with a qualified professional.